Written by PremCumGuy
The International Society of Sexual Medicine has defined premature ejaculation (PE) as “ejaculation that always or nearly always occurs prior to or within about 1 minute of vaginal penetration from the first sexual experience (lifelong PE) or a clinically significant and bothersome reduction in latency time, often to about 3 minutes or less (acquired PE).”1
While most men take an average of 6 minutes to ejaculate2, there are some who take upwards of 20 minutes, which, not surprisingly, is less than ideal for some women.
Despite how far modern sexuality has evolved, even today, PE induces performance anxiety in men, makes them question their masculinity and can even drive them to avoid intercourse altogether due because of their fear of failure. Surprisingly, it can also also make women question their sex appeal, wondering if their partner is rushing through the act to get it over with. This can put great stress on a relationship, promote severe inhibitions in both parties and eventually lead to a breakup. Instead of viewing PE as a burden that can doom relationships, it’s better to see it as an opportunity to strengthen them.
While porn, erotic literature and other media have falsely propagated the myth that women desire and need intercourse to last 20 minutes to an hour in order to feel sexually fulfilled, this is untrue for the vast majority of women. In fact, a sound argument can be made that PE is good for women.
Here are some reasons why:
It forces sex to be more emotional
For women, when it comes to sex, intimacy, emotional connection and closeness are more important than anything physical. According to a 2015 study, only 18% of women achieve orgasm from intercourse alone3, yet many still expect that great sex should conclude with an orgasm during intercourse. Activities like deep french kissing, full body massage, cuddling and whispering romantic or dirty words to each other can lead to more intense and satisfying sex, regardless of the length of intercourse. When done before intercourse, they can even get a woman to the brink of orgasm so all it takes is a few strokes from her partner to drive her over the edge.
It removes feeling of inadequacy over not orgasming during intercourse
Premature ejaculation reduces the emphasis on intercourse as the main focus of sex to making it just one of many ways that we express our sexuality. For many women, that can be a game changer. A controversial story recently published by The Daily Mail argued that women actually can’t orgasm from intercourse4, because, according to a peer reviewed Italian study published in 2014, the vagina isn’t anatomically capable of triggering orgasm5.
If a woman doesn’t experience an orgasm in 20 minutes of intercourse, she already knows that she’s less likely to get there in 3. Instead of worrying about frigidity or wondering if they’re sexually dysfunctional, women whose partners are premature ejaculators can open up their sexual repertoires to include more oral and manual stimulation, introduce toys, role playing or experiment with new kinks and fetishes.
Add spontaneity to sex
Men who take a long time to ejaculate are likely to be less flexible about when they have sex, because they’ll want to be make sure they have enough time to have an orgasm. PE removes such time constraints and encourages trysts whenever the mood strikes. With enough clitoral stimulation, sensual touching and dirty talking, women can experience great satisfaction in just a few minutes, and the rush of having to finish quickly can add an extra layer of excitement as well. Besides, what can break up the monotony of a workday better than some lunchtime sex?
Shorter intercourse can mean more of it
Although long lasting intercourse can be very satisfying for a woman, the longer it takes, the more time she may need to recover. While there are no published studies linking the frequency of intercourse to its duration, it stands to reason that since quicker intercourse requires a shorter recovery time for both partners, they can enjoy it more often. Even better, once freed from the feelings of guilt and shame frequently brought on by PE, premature ejaculators will want to enjoy sex with their partners much more often if the negative undertone is removed. For any woman, having a lot more sex without any soreness, is a very good thing to look forward to.
1. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5001991/
2. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1743-6109.2009.01392.x
3. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/0092623X.2017.1346530